Fertilizer "Specialist" = Captain Obvious

We have a company (who for quality and safety reasons will remain anonymous) come and fertilize our yard to keep it healthy. Every time they come they leave me some comment as to what to do to improve my yard. To me it is always a negative comment and irks me. For instance, when it gets cut too short they'll leave me a card that measures how short three inches is and not to mow it any shorter. Or they'll tell me it has heat stress and I need to water it three times a week (not to mention my lawn is one of the few green lawns on our street because few people actually water. Both my neighbors have brown lawn, so mine looks really green). Or one of my favorites, that it has moles. What I couldn't tell from the piles of dirt that would appear overnight and the tunnels that squish every time I walk in the backyard? Today they came for the last treatment of the year. The comment of the year was received today. It was that my yard has "pet damage." Duh! What do you expect with a 5 month old golden retriever puppy! Yes there are a few holes in the yard and a few patches of dug up grass. As if I didn't know. Thank you Captain Obvious! I'll be sure to remedy that pet damage as soon as I can.